Monday, May 2, 2011
A World a Day: Reality TV
Welcome back to North Continent's hottest reality show eight turns running - Who Wants to be a Dolphin's Concubine?
To recap, we sure has been given a treat this cycle. Whether watching the contestants compose poetry in *untranscribable series of clicks*, or practice cetacean seduction swim dances or even competing in a trivia contest to test their knowledge about our new, dolphin corrected history we've seen some amazing performances from all our great competitors. But the highlight of this season had to be when the contestants rode helicopters through the radioactive ashlands of the Nipponese Demon Islands, seeing who could rack up the most confirmed kills of the cursed ones that still eke out a living there. I am legally obligated to remind you, when dolphins nuke a country... they do it right!
*Applause, not as loud as before*
Host: And we will miss all the men and women who have failed to receive one of Dolphin Lord SqueekClickClickSqueek's coveted golden mackerel's or died in one of the competitions. *The host lower's his head to initiate a moment of silence, before springing up to rally the crowd once again.*
But now we've moved onto the next exciting leg of the competition! Surgical augmentation to increase our suitability to the lord's preferred habitat!
The screen behind the announcer changes, swirls like the flow of water to reveal various view of contestants discussing cosmetic options with Dolphin plastic surgeons and their human assistants.
Host: Well it's going to be an exciting one tonight, stay tuned as the Doctors correct oxygen pathway placement, reform appendages and whatever else the contestants can dream up to please SqueekClickClickSqueek, our lord and master. Stay tuned, cause -you know- you have to!
(www.strugglingwordguy.com I promise the stories aren't this weird... usually.)